In Search of Iowa Mexican

Oh Ponak's how I miss thee.  Your beautiful red salsa, your wonderfully creamy queso, and your oh so potent margaritas.  I doubt there is a substitute for Ponak's Mexican Kitchen, in Des Moines, or anywhere else, but I now have my first culinary mission here.

My family have been going to Ponak's for over 20 years.  My parents have been going at least once a week for over 10 years.  My parents may not be the most culinarily educated people in the world, but they have always taught me to eat and drink what is good, and Ponak's is that at it's bare minimum, I have never been there and thought it less that good.  When my Aunt and Uncle come to visit from California it is there one request while they are in Kansas City.  My wife and I always take our friends there because no one ever complains about the food, the drinks, or the price.

Ponak's begins, at least for me and mine, with the margaritas.  Most places I have been in my life the margaritas are sour mix with a little tequila mixed in, not at Ponak's.  There the margaritas are on tap, made with Jose Cuervo (I know not the best tequila, but not rot gut either...at least not in this country) by hand every day and believe it or not you can actually taste the tequila, these are real margarita's folks and if you're not prepared they will fuck you up.

Once you sit down you are greeted by house made chips and salsa.  I've worked in the restaurant business for a long time and I have lied to many people about what is made in house and what isn't, but this shit is for real.  How do I know?  I've had chips there that were fresh out of the fryer and every time I go the salsa is a bit different and anyone who makes fresh food around the house knows that every tomato and every pepper are different and you will never get the same flavour in any two salsas.

By the time my family orders dinner we are at least two margaritas and two baskets of chips in and as my best friend John likes to say "I don't remember how the food at Ponak's tastes."  Well I have actually forgone the margaritas before and I can tell you that the food is pretty damn good.  Is it authentic?  I doubt it, but it is always delicious.  From simply Mexican pleasures like tacos and enchiladas, to things that very few Mexican spots do well like chile rellenos and tamales.

So my first foray into the world of Mexican food here in Des Moines was not chosen of my own volition.  The restaurant was chosen by my Aunt-in-Law and I mean her no disrespect by what follows here.

El Patio is not a place I would choose on my own.  Located right off of Ingersol in an old house you could miss it if you weren't looking for it.  We went for a birthday party for my 17 year old cousin in law, so drinking wasn't my first thought, but my wife insisted and I gave in.  A pitcher of margaritas game forth with.  Actually it was a carafe of sweet and sour, I'm sure there was some tequila in it, but that was not my biggest concern.  As the carafe was placed in front of me, after two margaritas were poured out of it, I noticed that half of the top of the carafe was completely chipped away.  Perhaps this is of little concern to many, but to me it is a big sign of how things are done in an establishment.  When I come across a chipped plate, or glass, or pitcher, or mug, or anything, weather in my home or in a restaurant, I throw it away, before more glass, or ceramic, or anything can become lodged in my or someone else's esophagus, or throught, or stomach, or lower intestine.

But as usual I digress.  As we waited for the rest of our group I started into the chips and salsa, ok let me rephrase, store bought chips and a can of tomato puree that had been opened and dumped into a plastic bowl.  I looked over the menu and had a deep seated desire to order the chile rellenos just to see how they compared, but I chose the chimichanga.  Personally I'm not really sure what a chimichanga is, but I know that I have no preconceived notion of how it should taste and therefore I could give El Patio the opportunity to make it's own name.

We finally ordered, and we waited, and waited, and...see at Ponak's 15 minutes is a long time to wait for food.  Most of it just needs to be heated up, put under the salamander to melt the cheese, rolled inside a tortilla, sided with pico de gallo, whatever.  Forty five minutes later my chimichanga arrived, along with everyone else's food.  I took a bite, then covered it in salsa...err tomato puree, another bite, salted the shit out of it, another bite, requested some hot sauce, doused the shit out of it, and finally it had some flavour.  I was starving by this point and ate it.  It wasn't bad, but it sure wasn't good.  It tasted like frozen food, that hadn't been seasoned, which is probably exactly what it was.

To make a long story short (too late!)  My quest has begun, I must find palatable Mexican food, and more importantly potent margaritas in Des Moines.  If I don't where will I take my parents to eat when they come to town?

The Server